"I'm a fool with dreams, and not a lot of things. I swear that I will be all you need. Don't give up on me. Give me one more day. Don't give this all away." -Framing Hanley

<i> Oh dear love of mine, </i>
I was breaking down inside, loosing myself to you but getting nothing in return.
I couldn't take it, I was going crazy.
I finally did it.
I told you I was DONE.
done with hearing your lies to her, done with waiting, done with being second best, and mostly done with crying over you.
I gave you the ultimatum.
me or her.

I prepared myself for the worst,
the reason I had never brought myself to tell you this.
I knew you'd just shrug your shoulders and think well I guess I lost her.

But suprisingly enough you didn't. You actually told me you couldn't let me walk away from this..
I wanted you to leave that night, leave it all show me you really meant what you were saying.
I guess that was a little unreasonable though....

you told her you didn't want to be with her, but she doesn't believe you, and won't believe you until you start packing and leaving..

We looked at apartments.
God, the thought of starting our life together was enough to make me explode, inside that's what my heart was doing..

But you're still there...because of money.
FUCKING MONEY.

why does our world have to be so based around money?
why does money have to keep me from being with the man I am and absolutely in love with?
why does it have to keep me waiting for what I want most?

I have seen you more.
I see you're making a change.
But is that a change that you've made just so I don't leave?

You keep asking me for this time!
But haven't you had enough time?
Enough of this heartache and longing for one another?

Apparently not..

I just want you I want you in every way possible.
I want to be the only one you say I love you to.

You talk to her on the phone when I'm with you and I hate it.
I know you can't help it because of the circumstances,
but what kills me most is when you tell her I love you...
I know you love her and always will and  that's something I have to deal with...
It just hurts..I don't know..

No one is like you.
youre fucking amazing.
and i want to be yours and your ONLY.
Not your other.

I don't want to be the other one forever.
I can't live like this.
I feel like something in my life is missing and it comes around sometimes but only for a little while.

This honestly is one of the most confusing situations of my life...

Tonight you told me "I love you, I promise! more than anything!"
I want to believe you I do believe that you love me,
but if you loved me more than anything wouldn't you be doing everything in your power to never leave my side?

There are so many options and i've offered them all to you.
You just don't take them and I don't understand at all..
Maybe I'm just young and stupid,
or maybe you're just making excuses.
I really don't know..

All I know is I can't just let this all go...
I have to see what you do now.

so tell me whats your next move?

Sincerely,

<i> The girl whose dying to love you</i>

<333

"Breathing is a Foreign Task and Thinking is Just too Much to Ask (Dashboard Confessional)

Oh dear love of mine,
It sure has been awhile since I've wrote to you. Not that that means that you're no
longer apart of my life. You're more of my life than anything now.

Something awful happen. I lost my other half. She left without notice.
And when it made me fall you weren't even there to catch me.
You found out the next day, and you should've seen your face..
Just like it hit you. that you aren't around me enough.

You of all people should have been there when i lost her.
You should have been at the funeral holding my hand. telling me it was okay.
Instead you left me to do it all alone.

We've talked i've told you how i feel a little more..
you even told me you were inlove with me..

But why do I still feel like our relationship will never flourish?
Why do i feel as if it'll be a flower in bloom for years to come?

I've realized nothing can rip you from her, as you even said you'll just apologize.
And just wait until she catches us again...just wait until she finds something..
and all of a sudden your apologizing..
It won't be like last time, I won't be so understanding..
Honestly I'll probably cry my eyes out right infront of you..

I've told you ALMOST how unhappy I am. You really have no idea though.
How it feels to be second best to the person that you care about the most.
Everyone my age is so immature, i talk to none of them at school.

I sit in the lunchroom alone thinking about you..
Wishing I could atleast think about how i'll see you after school..
but I wont...
that would make the school day so much more bearable.

Being at school doesn't take my mind from you at all if anything it makes it worse.
I can only think about you seeing all these happy couples walk around.
and i wonder why can't that be us?

You told me you'd take my to prom, i really hope thats not going to end
up being a broken promise.
You ruined my prom last year please don't do it again..

I just hope you know how much I love you and want you in my life.
I'd do anything to be with you right now and forever....

I am so deeply and desperatly in love with you <33

Sincerely,

 

the girl whose dying to love you



"Hope Dangles On A String Like Slow Spinning Redemption Winding in and Winding Out The Shine Of it Has Caught My Eye and roped Me In" (Dashboard Confessional)

Oh dear love of mine, 


I've been trying so hard maybe too hard,
to forget all about you...

It was easier than I thought...
at least when I didn't  see you..

But now you're back.
You missed me...couldn't take the time away from me..
so you came back for more...
just as I knew you would..

I just want to know why I can't say no to you..
I want to be your everything
more than anything in this world...
I don't know why I feel so strongly toward you..

but it's so painful..
I lay in bed at night thinking of no one but you..

I wake up thinking about you..

I just wanted to know if this was also the hardest thing you've done.
Or if your perfectly fine with it..

It was like you read my mind...
you told me this situation sucks and you think about me all the time..

You just give me so much false hope..

I can't get certain things you say out of my head
they replay over and over like a movie in my head..

you told me,
"I think she wants time apart"
What does that mean?

Does that mean I'll finally get to be your one and only?

Or will you leave me to go back home?

It's a never ending circle though,
if you leave you'll still talk to me..

God what do I do?!
The past two nights ive felt so alone.
I wallowed in my sorrow
and drowned it in cheap vodka.

I've never felt that alone..
The looks in your eyes when you have to go are so sad.
I know you never want to leave.

I know you want to stay by my side..
but wanting to and doing so are two different things..

You told me you were sorry you were still there,
i told you it was okay.

but it's really not..
it's taking everything out of me not to break down and cry..
everytime you break a promise...
Or tell me we might be able to hang out...
I wait alll day for that phone call..
it always came before..

but now it doesn't come as often.

She's your main priority but for some reason I try my hardest not to think about you two.
I just can't face the truth..

Im trying to talk to other guys...
but none of them give me the feeling you do..
they don't make me smile the way you do.
they don't do anything they way you do..
You are who I want to be with.
But waiting and thinking
will I ever be with him?
is too hard.
I'm not strong enough for this i feel like im falling into pieces.

i just don't know.

sincerely,

the girl who is dying to love you

"A line of strands to mark the trail, no one said it would be easy, i must admit I thought the risk was better waged in younger seasons." (Dashboard Confessional)

Oh dear love of mine,

I think I'm doing a good job.
I was at work last night but didn't go in.
You made no effort to say hi.

No phone call, you didn't even have her  tell me hi.
Whats wrong with you?

Do you really care that little?
Am I really so stupid?

I'm going to pull myself away from you as much as possible.
You're going to have to do everything if you want to see me
Im going to let you see what it's like to be me.

Maybe you'll just give up.
That'll show me you just didn't care enough or maybe any at all.

But if you're still pulling me in close to you maybe you do care.

or maybe you just want me for your own selfish desires.

This is a giant mystery to me you're the only one that really knows whats going.
And I feel that i'll be the last to know,
and it'll all be some cruel joke in the end.

I just want you to keep your promises to me.

Why do you do this ?

It's like you know you can make me smile and what can wipe my smile clean off my face.
How can you have so much power over me But i literally have no power over anything..

I'm trying hard really hard to take away your power.
I want my life back.
You stole that.
You've stolen everything from me and ran.

Just please keep running and don't come back.

Sincerely, 

The girl dying to love you 

"This is where i say I've had enough, no one should ever feel the way that I feel now. A walking open wound a trophy display of bruises and I don't believe I'm getting any better." (Dashboard Confessoinal)

Oh dear love of mine, 

I give up.
I give up everything. 
I give up the idea you'll ever love me. 
I give up the things we planned to do.
I give up hope.
I give up love.
I give up the little joy I have in life anymore. 


I just feel so hurt right now.
The amazing night we had together....
until she called.
Boy I've never seen you move so fast.
And then to run in there and tell me
"you can't be in my car! she might be coming here!"
you were my ride home....
What would you have done if someone wouldn't have been able to take me home?


You tell her your not lying, and your not doing anything wrong.

Standing there, hearing you say it is like a stab straight through the stomach.
I couldn't take it...
I didn't want to say bye i just wanted to go to leave far far far far away.


imbreakingdown.


intotinypieces the walls are closing in.....

I feel worthless.

NO one should feel this way.

I need to let you go....but you make it so hard.
In my mind I know I just need to move on and leave you to your life.
But part of me knows you'll just suck me back in as soon as your life is all straight.

I feel like you need me when it's convenient for you. 
We have such an amazing time together..
The things you say to me leave me with hope but last night it was different.

"I wish I could pause time" I said longing for him to stay with me
"Then we could be together forever," he told me gazing into my eyes.
I can't stop replaying that moment in my mind.


Does that mean we'll never be together? Unless we can pause time? 


WHAT AM I TO YOU?

absolutely nothing. 


how do i just let you be nothing to me?


I don't know, because right now you're really my everything...
How do you let your everything go?
How do you feel when your nothing to the person that means everything to you?




The bottom line is, it's me or her.

But I'm not going to make you choose. I'll let you do it yourself. 


Simply let you lose me, i want to see if you'll actually let go of me so quickly...

sincerely, 

the  girl who is dying to love you <33

"Love of mine someday you will die but I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark" (Deah Cab for Cutie)

Oh dear love of mine,

 Last night made me realize how out of my life you really are.
Made me realize if something urgent happens I can't just call you.
I could have died last night.
I was in a crash, but you don't even know about it yet...

You might find out about it later today, if you can.

It's just not fair..
I want you to be there next to me..
I want to know that the chances of something happening to me are likely to be with you.
And not alone.
I want to know I have someone to follow me into the dark.

It came out of know were.
The impact felt like an earthquake...
But it really wasn't that bad..
I can remember it all in slow motion though...

It was the scariest thing ever and I couldn''t even call you when i freaked out.

What would you have done if something would have happened to me last night?
You do realize you'd be one of the last to know?
Even though I'd want you to be one of the firsts to know..but that wouldn't happen...

Everything is telling me that I can't keep this going...
That if i keep this going something bad, or even tradegic might happen..

But how do i let you go?
how do you let go of everything you've ever wanted?
how do i do this...someone please help

Sincerely,

the girl dying to love you 

"Do you think that you love me? Cause I do I do Do you want that forever? Cause I do I do" (Dashboard Confessional)

Oh dear love of mine,


People just don't understand.
Your friend is telling me to drop you. To leave you be.
Because he feels bad for her.
You know I kind of do too...but you're the one making the decisions to deceive her.
I am simply a girl whose in love with you..a girl who wants to be with you
make you happy.

But yet I'm the one people are blaming.

I feel like you care so much at certain times.
Then other times I feel like you really could care less.

I feel like you could just let me go so easy without thinking twice.

"You don't have to wait"

That's what you're always telling me.

I feel as if that's something you would only tell me once...unless you want this to be done....
But you just can't do it...

He told me "I think he just wants freedom, and right now that's what you are".
is that true....?

Do I simply represent freedom to you?
Or am i someone you care about and could see yourself in a relationship with?

"Don't lead him on"
What am I leading you onto?
You're the one dragging me around basically by my hair.

I'm just trying to love you.
Give you someone that appreciates you...
after all that's what you said you wanted...
Its just a matter of taking it and holding onto it.

I know there is more than lust to this. I can feel it..
I can feel it in your kiss
In your touch
In your glances at me
Just in the way you say hello to me..

Everything. I can feel the spark.. the connection...
for all of this to be fake means your a very good actor..

It is also something that would make me
H
A
T
E
You.

Please im begging you with every ounce of strength I have
Please please don't let me down..

I don't know how i'd handle it...
I'd be so lost...so hurt...so alone....

Sincerely, 

The girl dying to love you